Mark Twain quotes & passages

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things can not be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"—which is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and—watch that basket"

This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

We said there warn’t no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don’t. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.